did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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