a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
