hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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