I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
