i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
