I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
