his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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