Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
