so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
