You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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