I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
