Who wears a wallet chain?!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
