my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
