Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
