The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
