I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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