So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
