I want to walk on stilts...naked
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
