pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
