I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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