Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything

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(720): View more from Colorado

Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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(301): View more from Maryland

we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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(334): View more from Alabama

My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

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(949): View more from California

I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?

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(586): View more from Michigan

Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!

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(714): View more from California

he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy

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