You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
