I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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