Just cropdusted the office
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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