I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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