I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
