That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
