i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
