I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
