Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
