He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
