tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
