Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
