So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
