AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
