I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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