Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
