she was so not down for the gang bang
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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