I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
