I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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