So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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