I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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