Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
