took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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