I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
