enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
third nipple confirmed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
