obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
