I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
