Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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