I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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