Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
