I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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