Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
