apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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